Medical Transcription Errors Turned into Funny Bloopers

No matter how many repetitions a medical transcriptionist try to transcribe an abstruse term, errors will most likely occur.  And in most cases, he/she may not realize how funny the words or phrases would actually sound, turning errors into very hilarious bloopers, even the doctors will laugh about.

During a dictation, the physician articulates the necessary information through verbal expression. However, the physician may opt to use nonverbal communication to express the full meaning of what he intends to explain but often fail to know that nonverbal explanations can not be transcribed. Instead, the MT misinterprets the meaning of what the physician wanted to say, making errors based on how the transcriptionist understands it.

The results, sometimes, are just too hilarious. What seemed to be medical transcription errors, now turned into funny bloopers and blunders. Here are some of the physicians dictated reports that were derived from many medical transcription reports:

  1. The patient is somewhat ambivalent about the Medicaid application, since apparently he has a large surplus which he would not like to share with the Department of Social Services.  
  2. The patient is able to drink from a clock. 
  3. PLAN: Reassurance. Treatment is available, although apparently the patient went into congestive heart failure and died with Inderal.  
  4. She finds that her off periods can be terminated by eating part of a tuna fish sandwich…I have suggested that she take 2 tablespoons of tuna fish every two hours. 
  5. He took nitroglycerin before dancing without any discomfort.  
  6. Allergic to Morphine, Valium, and her Relatives.
  7. The patient was breathing heavily with no signs of respiration.
  8. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. 
  9. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.  
  10. Examination reveals a well-developed, elderly male lying in bed in acute mistress.
  11. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. 
  12. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. 
  13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.   
  14. Her breasts look beautiful. I will follow her for one month.
  15. This is a well-developed gentleman who is obviously pregnant.
  16. His upper teeth, if he had them, feel normal.
  17. This is a well-developed elderly female. She is oriented to the year, and unsure of where she is. She is unsure of the president, but mentions Hulk Hogan as a possibility.
  18. The patient comes in because she wants to get pregnant.
  19. Please make a copy of my office.
  20. …..where was I? I can’t remember where I was….. oh yeah, I was in the rectum. 
  21. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  22. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
    she was very hot in bed last night.
  23. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
  24. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  25. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
  26. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
  27. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. 
  28. On the second day the knee was better,
    and on the third day it disappeared completely.
  29. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  30. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. 

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